sydney-day 1

Day 1
at the airport on my way to Sydney, my first major trip on my own. i am part terrified and part excited - very cool and frightening. if you had asked me 3 years ago if i would be doing anything like this i would have said 'No Way' - i am glad i am getting braver as i get older instead of the other way around. so here i am - awesome!

getting some dinner before getting on the plane and a beer to calm my 'i hate flying' nerves just a bit. people watching at the airport is completely brilliant! there is a lady beside me talking about webbed toes on her cell phone...ok... and a father / daughter dealing with a major ketchup disaster. good times!
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on the plane to San Fran:
ah Safety announcement time:
in the event that the plane is crashing - pray! :/ ugh
as if you could save yourself when the plane plummets in a ball of flame - lovely!
i hate flying, did i mention that i hate flying!! but since i dont have time to sail to australia...darn it!

watched the saddest show ever on the tv and i am thinking is it a good plan to get 215 people really depressed and stuck in a tin can hurtling 40,000 feet above the ground?? anything could happen.
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1:30 in the morning (my time, i haven't switched my clock yet)
still in the air - ugh.
serious bought with claustrophobia somewhere around the middle of the pacific approximately 9 hours into the flight (oh fuck - i am not a fan of turbulence) anyhow someone on United, mistakenly, feels that showing you the position of your little tiny plane's progress over the wide expansive pacific ocean is a good idea! (where you could go down anywhere and no one would ever find you (I hate LOST!))… Wrong!

so looking at the screen, which is All blue, because there is no where to land...i pull my focus in to my current sardine like existence and i begin to have trouble breathing. great. then my mind starts to build images of me having a full out panic attack and being tackled by the sky marshal. not quite the image i wanted for my trip to australia.
so i decide to make the man beside me wake up (again...boy was he sorry to sit by me) so that i could walk around, after circling the plane several times (i hate the people in first class right now) i stand in the back looking out the window, at least there are stars so i can get my bearings, and enjoy the entire 2 ft square uninhabited space for awhile.
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they keep bringing us food...blah...it feels like kindergarten where they try to control the unhappy masses with milk and cookies...
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dammit the plane is back on the screen and we are still hours away - whimper
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while i was in San Fran i bought a travel pillow and blanket - lifesavers!
and the most hedonistic book that i have ever read, the first chapter did not seem that bad but OMG!! if it were actually real like the author claims he could give the Marquis de Sadie a run for his money. it is funny, cruel, and so crude...i am not sure that i want to read anymore, but it is kind of like the horrific cant tear your eyes away scene of someone jumping from a building, you know you shouldn't look but you cant help it...i think i need a shower after that last story. yuck! definitely throwing it away!!
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what a long flight!
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still in the air but WOW what a glorious sunrise!! oh my, the reddest red I have ever seen, perfect flow of colors one into the other from blood red to indigo - breath taking!